Me, My Self, and I

Thursday, September 4, 2014

(Not) Waiting In Vain

I've been waiting for days, weeks, months, you know. Waiting for something that has no due date. Well, just waiting for it to come, just that.

When I got into a serious problem related with my relationship with my partner two years ago, I have waited for two months before I took a new step. Not because the problem has been solved, but it was because I thought I was waiting in vain at that time. Waiting for something to be solved without doing nothing about it. It was a breakdown and I didn't want to spoil my days any longer.

I did things in between back then. I went to yoga class three times a week (I lost 20 kgs in 2 months!), I did fasting on weekdays, I prayed a lot (trust me, when I said a lot, it meant really a lot), I babysat my nephew and niece, I shared with my Mom a lot.

So, I started to think that I was not waiting in vain. I did something. And guess what, almost three months after the breakdown, I got a new job. With a way better salary, better appreciation for my work, better environment. I was so grateful. I had been waiting for days, weeks, and months, but not in vain.

The relationship problem lasted for two years, though.

I found out that I am facing the same thing again. Waiting for something to come, to happen, with no due date. I asked my self earlier today, "Am I waiting in vain?" Because we don't know what God has planned for us to bear.

So, thinking of God, who has always been taking care of me in all circumstances, it's really hard to believe if I ever waited in vain.

It's all logical to me. Always. God always takes care of me, even when I was in my worst or when I hated Him so much, He always does; why should He change this time? Maybe I feel worried a bit. Or whine about things. But I know I am not waiting in vain. Not back then, not now, not ever.

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